I believe a disclaimer is necessary for what I am about to tell you.

NOTE: I am personally not responsible if you throw up after reading this article. It is your fault for reading it during or after lunch.

Now that’s put there, let me tell you a bit about poop. In my house, of course.

I was working on my computer. My dad told me to go to sleep.

I finished changing and brushing and everything. I went to my dad who was buried inside tax returns a hug. I smiled. He smiled back.

Everything was just going about fine before I smelt it.

The pungent odor. That detested smell.

In other words, the smell of poo.

I let out a small yelp and held my nose. My dad, curious, started sniffing. I let go and began sniffing. I peeked on the floor.

None under my desk.

None under my dad and mom’s computer.

None under (or on) the bookshelf.

None under the table, except for what looked like squeezed toothpaste.

None under the… wait! I stopped and looked back under the table.

And there it was. Icky stuff. So disgusting, I shouldn’t tell you. Just like toothpaste, but dark yellow with a tint of brown… you get the idea. (REMEMBER I WROTE A DISCLAIMER!)

I looked at it, and then tried to squeeze myself out of the mess.

“Well, I’ll just go to sleep?” I asked my dad.

My dad saw right through me. “Why don’t you clean up first?”

I explained to my dad that I was tired. He explained to me that it was my dog.

Because the dog was already asleep inside the upstairs bathroom, I had to grab toilet paper from the downstairs bathroom, which did not help my temper.

I grabbed the toilet paper and tried to pick up the mess. I ended up smearing it a bit. I was very angry and felt like getting the dog and sticking it’s nose in the remains of the poo.

However, I did not do that because I had endured his howling and barking for about twenty minutes, and for all I knew, he was asleep and sticking his nose into the poo was not going to let him sleep better.

I went to bed mad. I was just about to lay down when I noticed something on the ground. What was it?

I answered my own question. What could it be other than poo? After all, I never went and dropped poo over my room.

So I had to pick it up.

You had to imagine the “ruff” look on my face when I went to bed.

The next morning, I held my breath as I walked out the door, careful not to look at something and ruin my appetite.

You can figure out that something yourself.