Go on. Nobody is stopping you, so go ahead and watch the watch argument. There’s nobody stopping you. Except for me. You would be invading my privacy. So actually, don’t go on. Someone’s stopping you, so don’t go ahead and watch my very interesting argument.

But you can read my argument. Well, actually it isn’t an argument. It’s actually just a joke… a true joke. I’m writing it in a different style…

It all started on an innocent sunny day. This was the first day my friend had his watch.

He was showing it to me.

The time was 10:59:05. (Okay, I made up the 05…)

We both had our hourly chimes on.

On his watch, the time was 10:59:46.

We were talking about his birthday presents.

He got a watch for his birthday.

I mentioned the watch.

He told me it was a good present.

His watched beeped.

Bieep, bieep.

I asked him why his watch beeped.

He said he had hourly chime on.

I told him I had hourly chime on too.

My watched beeped.

Beep, beeip, beep.

I told him mine was louder.

He said, “Yeah, right.”

I told him mine had a more clean sound.

He asked me if I was harassing his watch.

I told him that was a possible outcome.

He said that I was harassing his watch.

He told me my watch wasn’t loud.

I told him it was 48 decibels.

He said I was probably making it up.

I admitted I made it up.

Someone came up behind us.

That person asked if we even knew how loud 48 decibels was.

I told him 48 decibels was 48 decibels.

That person sighed.

That person walked away.

I turned back to my friend.

He was adjusting the time.

I said mine was louder.

He sa— wait, he didn’t say anything.

I said “his was louder”.

He didn’t say anything.

I said “his was louder” louder.

He looked at me.

I smiled.

He smiled.

I said mine was louder.

He frowned.

He didn’t say anything.

That someone came up behind us again.

That person said it was probably 34 decibels or so.

I asked that person if he even knew how loud 34 decibels was.

He said 34 decibels is 34 decibels.

I sighed.